Unwell
by graystripemkc
Summary: another musical themed one shot written to Matchbox 20's Unwell. Never heard of it? Well I would recommend it highly haha seriously though, I think it's an amazing song. Anyway this has to do more with the fact of Mina being broken down and bent. Give it shot, lol I would note recommend this if you want to read something happy. Loosely based off of my own life at the moment. R&R
Mina sat back in the giant arm chair. Her hands on arms and her head thrown back, looking at the ceiling. She briefly looked down to see Charlie playing with his toy planes and cars. She sighed, barely able to contain the sob that was threatening to escape out of her chest. She gripped the arm chair with all her might, fighting the strange sensation from within her legs. That sensation made her want to run, and throw herself into something. What that something was, she didn't know. Just as long as it was something that could get her mind off her problems. All day she had been staring at the ceiling, making friends with shadows on her wall.

All night she been hearing voices telling her that she should get some sleep because tomorrow might be good for something. She grabbed her hair, again fighting that heavy feeling in heart and soul. Hold on, she thought, she felt like she was headed for a breakdown. This was all too much to handle for one just one teenage girl. Finding out that you are suppose to end a curse that has plagued your family for let's just say two centuries? She pinched the bridge of her nose. Lets just go with two centuries just for her sake at the moment. Then to make it all better (or worse actually), her "prince charming" had forgotten who she was and was interested in Nan, and finally Jared was not speaking to her. Her only true, besides her godmother of course, aide...maybe a friend, or maybe just above all a rock in her life now, and he would not speak to her. She would even go as far to say he had contempt for her. She slunk further down into the chair, pulling her legs up to her chest. She lied her head down on the arm of the chair, her fist bawling trying to keep herself from crying.

She was trying not to be petty. She knew it was not Nan's or even Brody's fault. Who despite in everything really tried to be there, or as in Brody's case seemed to really want to know why he felt like he had this connection to Mina. She had to push them away, she told herself. She was doing the right thing right? So why did she feel so damn lousy? There was only so much she could reason and explain why she felt this way..but the other part.. she didn't know why... She closed her eyes, her earlier conversation with Nan floated into her mind...

"Right now I think you are honestly being crazy like usual!" Nan retorted.

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell, she thought smiling a little. I know right now you can't tell, how could she tell? Nan couldn't remember what had happened. How she had almost died because she had been sucked into this mess. She could not lie, it hurt a little to know that her best friend could not see how much pain she had been in lately. But Maybe that was because she had hidden it so well? All she could think of in that moment was to smile and say "hmmmm maybe you should stay awhile and maybe then you'll see a different side of me."

How could her friend not know the pain she was in? Or was this the story at work? Or was this how it felt to have depression? To feel lonely, in pain, feeling like every flaw or everything that has gone wrong just stare at you painfully in the face constantly reminding of you of all your flaws and what's gone wrong. She knew there was so much more to depression than just that but was that a little part of it?

She buried her head into her lap,hugging her knees tighter. She wanted to bang her head against the wall thinking about everything that she could have prevented or done better, all the could-of's and should-of's echoed in her head. To make things even worse, all those thoughts sounded distinctly like Jared's voice telling her these things. "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired," she told herself softly, her voice shaking. She thought back to a couple of days ago when he had yelled at her about the stories. It seemed funny, at times it seemed like he actually gave a damn about HER. HER, as in Her and her mental state, and at other times just about the damn story or actually more about his damn self. Right now it seemed like he was more leaning towards the latter these days. She had been rocking back in forth, hugging her knees to her chest when he berated her about her failures, she thought, I know right now you don't care.

The most terrifying thing was that she was beginning to think he was right. She did not have much self-esteem. Not as much as she probably should have, but it was then that when Nan and Jared went on with their lives, as if they have not seen her pain, and who knows maybe they hadn't, but she smiled laughing through tears that someone was gonna think of her and how she used to be, her.

She had begun talking to herself in public more than usual. Dodging glances on the train, and subway. And she knew, shaking her head as she thought, she knew they've all been talking about her in school. _Grimey, oh look at grimey, I swear she wears the same clothes everyday_ -a violent sob ripped from her, sobbing into her jeans. "I can hear them whispering Nan-" she protested to her in the hallways.

"Oh stop it-" Nan would tell her, but even she looked uncomfortable. Like she was not only trying to convince Mina but also herself that, that wasn't true. Mina just ended up most times turning around and walking away. The whispers of contempt, even the ones about genuine concern, like how Nan would would talk to her mom about how she was worried about Mina now and days, made her think there must be something wrong with her. She sighed, looking up at the clock. Out of all the hours thinking somehow I've lost my mind, she thought.

"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell," she repeated to herself softly, shaking. "I know right now you can't tell what the issue was..but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see a different side of me. "I'm not just depression or anxiety now and days, I swear. I'm still me."

A different side of me, she thought smiling, the side that laughed, played with her brother, who loved to sketch and read. The part of her that almost wished that the Fae and human world could live in peace in harmony. "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired, I know right now they don't care, but soon enough they're gonna think of me, and how I used to be." She could hear the fae now, "oh Mina! You know she wasn't half bad! It's such a shame we broke her..."

* * *

 _ **Hey y'all it's me. I know it's been a while and I'm not sure if anyone reads these anymore, but I had to write this tonight. I promise I'll finish the JCB. Lately I've just been struggling so much with myself and this one shot is a reflection of that. I tried to write this though to fit Mina though and not unload all my problems and thoughts on a character who won't go through what I am going through though. I'm going to finish this, it's not done but right now I don't think I have the strength to keep on writing, plus I have homework and real life that is dragging me down haha. Hope y'all are doing okay.**_

 _ **Love Madaleine**_


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